The idle parent ebook

This is the most counterintuitive but most helpful and consoling child-raising manual I've yet read. A godsend to parents. Who could ask for more? Many parents today spend a whole lot of time worrying and wondering—frantically "helicoptering" over their children with the hope that they might somehow keep or make? But where is this approach to childcare getting us? According to Hodgkinson, in our quest to give our kids everything, we fail to give them the two things they need most: the space and time to grow up self-reliant, confident, happy, and free.

In this smart and hilarious book, Hodgkinson urges parents to stop worrying and instead start nurturing the natural instincts toward creativity and independence that are found in every child. And the great irony: in doing so, we will find ourselves becoming happier and better parents. We should toss the TV out the window and prioritize outdoor play. A common theme throughout the idle parenting philosophy is the prioritization of parental pleasure , be it sleeping, drinking, or simply lazing about the house.

For example, family days out, which H. I wanted to jump up and down for joy when I read that chapter. Nor did I like the outdated views of maternal vs. Still, this was a glorious read, a breath of fresh air in a world where hyper-parenting is the norm. It does a fascinating job of blending free-range parenting with elements of attachment parenting, which sounds impossible, but makes sense when you read it. Order the book here. Actively scan device characteristics for identification. Use precise geolocation data.

Select personalised content. Create a personalised content profile. Measure ad performance. Select basic ads. No, it's not because I want my kids to bring me breakfast to bed, and I'm not even that much into drinking alcohol. The reason why I loved this book is that its approach to parenting touches the child in me: my parents were a lot like the idle parent from the book, and I love them for it. After reading this book, I have words to explain what was great about my own upbringing, and that helps me transfer the ideas to my own children.

And the book is very entertaining! Mar 14, Melissa rated it did not like it. Initially, I thought to myself, I am going to totally agree with this author. After all, I'm a huge "unhurried child" fan and advocate. I loved the chapter title, Bring Back Child Labor. Then, I started reading. What I couldn't understand is why the author is so fixated with drinking! Hodgkinson continually brings up drinking with good parenting - drink more, give baths tipsy, and on and on.

It's almost pushy and it got very weird. Is it okay if parents don't drink? I would say, not for him Initially, I thought to myself, I am going to totally agree with this author. I would say, not for him. Hodgkinson writes that "all paths are valid" yet he continually tells the reader what to do or not do. And just for further annoyance to me, he writes that team sports are "brutish and useless" and "Clearly they are a bastard child of industrialization. It's apparently not clear to me!

Skip this book - it's not worth your time! May 18, Joel rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: Expectant Parents. This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

Fuck this was a great book. It's well written, reads fast, is super fun, and helps to calm a lot of what's going on in my "'bout to have a baby" head. Spoilers below: Not only did he address the specifics of his idea of raising a child, he addresses the capitalist underpinnings of so many of the problems we face in our world, and some solutions and ideas that take us back to our ancestors, before Puritan and Victorian England decided that children were beings to be molded for future political gain Fuck this was a great book.

Spoilers below: Not only did he address the specifics of his idea of raising a child, he addresses the capitalist underpinnings of so many of the problems we face in our world, and some solutions and ideas that take us back to our ancestors, before Puritan and Victorian England decided that children were beings to be molded for future political gain, as opposed to being a helpful hand to them as they become themselves.

The one major thing I disagree with him on is that he seems to detest travel as too expensive and not worthwhile. The problem is he addresses travel to Theme Parks and organized group trips, all of which are shitty. But if a kid likes knights and maidens and castles, it seems to me that a nice little trip to Scotland and England to take them around and let them play in and on real castle walls is a totally worthwhile trip, and super fun, and fits the mold of the idle parent.

As does spelunking, if you're into that kind of thing. Or whatever. But other than that, he's got great ideas, great points, it's done with wonderful humor, it's a joy to read, it's particularly fun during this 2nd trimester phase of pregnancy while we as fathers and mothers, I assume are trying to wrap our heads around the future of our children and we want to plan, but we don't want to plan to much.

The good news is, my wife already gets this stuff - kids like to play, and they can do it without us most of the time, because, the fact is, they are better at playing than we are.

Feb 01, Robyn rated it it was ok. I really wanted to like this book. I loved the premise - encourage your kids to be more independent, don't overschedule them, make life more enjoyable for them and for you But most of the suggestions in this book were so unrealistic that reading it began to feel like a waste of time. Many families have two working parents. Most don't live on farms, or start their own local schools in order to encourage a form of "anarchy.

Some of his suggestions were quite funny, but all in all the book was a disappointment. View 1 comment. Feb 08, Knut rated it it was amazing Shelves: parenting , education. Some people don't seem to understand the humorist in Tom Hodgkinson and feel irritated because he e. Those people miss his main message, which contains a universal truth for mankind: loneliness creates sadness.

Loneliness seems to be a paradox to family life, but the modern nuclear family often creates for parents the experience of overwhelming loneliness and a sense of ineptitude to rear one's offspring.

I talk out of exper Some people don't seem to understand the humorist in Tom Hodgkinson and feel irritated because he e. I talk out of experience. The modern nuclear family is simply not suit to provide the same complex caring and nourishment, which the tribes of our ancestors did.

The result is a downwards spiral both physically and mentally. Hodgkinson suggests to team up with your friends and share the burden, even better yet, have fun together while being there for your children. Being part of a non-profit, parents-run kindergarten www. We meet at weekends, have dinner together and a few drinks, while our children have a great time with each other, without us having to worry about them.

The worrying, over-attentive parent is the negative protagonist in Hodgkinson's book. He suggest a positive antonym: the idle parent. The idle parent though, is not a selfish, ignorant slug; the idle parent must be understood as a complex lifestyle concept. The idle parent acts not, because social paradigms of an ideal education force him to, the idle parent acts, when he feels that there is a true requirement to do so, i.

The idle parent is self-responsible. The idle parent does not listen to every whine of his child or to any government imposed top-down regulation on how to handle your offspring. The idle parent is neither a wolf father nor a tiger mom. It is not their duty though to force-feed youth with unsolicited information. As Tom Hodgkinson's puts it: in our quest to give our kids everything, we fail to give them the two things they need most: the space and time to grow up self-reliant, confident, happy, and free.

View all 3 comments. Mar 03, RH Walters rated it it was amazing. An anti-materialist, back-to-nature and the-couch, DIY, pro-sleep, guilt-free guide to enjoying life with kids. Hodgkinson can be evangelical and hypocritical e. Reading other reviews I see that he turns some people off with his lusty endorsement of alcohol and sweets, and admittedly that's part of his charm for me.

Lots of good things to quote, but I choose this: "What w An anti-materialist, back-to-nature and the-couch, DIY, pro-sleep, guilt-free guide to enjoying life with kids.

Lots of good things to quote, but I choose this: "What we so often observe in the old-fashioned cultures is a stoical attitude, an inspiring lack of self-pity, and these attitudes are still to be found in societies that to us look extremely limited in terms of the life choices available.

What you get in rich societies, by contrast, is a hell of a lot of moaning. Nov 26, Tanya Wadley rated it really liked it Shelves: non-fiction , parenting. Great Book!. I'm certain the application of some of the things I'm learning can add to my daily happiness as a parent. This is very well written and easy to read and quite often funny. The notes below are for my benefit.. They're happy because we're happy Do not suffer. Enjoy your life. I have been in a parenting rut lately in which I have been "suffering through it" The idle parent is sociable.

We recognize the importance of friends. The computer, sold as a tool of emancipation becomes difficult to live without. I need to put mine back in that tool of emancipation category! We need to return, says Illich, to "self-reliance and trust in others In a world where 'enough' can be said only when nature ceases to function as pit or trash can, the human being is oreinted not toward satisfaction but toward grudging acquiescence.

It is a travesty of life, life as mere survival. In the cheerful home life the mother finds her sweetest duties and the father his pleasantest recreation.

Rousseau When parents do too much, they tire themselves and weaken their children. Hodgkinson p 19 Drudge work is lighter when shared and when there is music playing Make work into a game This is the way to make our children free, autonomous, self-determined, courageous, able to snap their fingers at govenment and big business, neither master nor slave.

And to do this, we must leanr a few tricks. Love childhood, indulge its sports, its pleasures, its delightful instincts.

Let him have everything he wants. Rousseau p 26 So if shouting and swearing, understandable reactions though they might be, don't work, we need to try another approach, bearing in mind at all times that the more independent and self-sufficient the chld, the more idle the parent. Idleness is not synonymous with chaos. In fact, effieiency can lead to more idling time.

The more naughtiness. The more rules, the more rules there are to be broken. The other way to cut down the whining is to stop your own. Unslave yourself. Hard work will not lead to health and happiness. Juast ask yourself: would you rather spend your child's first few years playing with them or working for the mega-corp in order to make them profits and you money to buy rubbish you don't need in order to dull the pain of overwork?

Rousseau I suppose there is an implication that there is reason behind the no in the first place. Saying "no" to things is saying "yes" to humanity and "yes" to life. Your child must not grow used to the idea that his or her needs can be met simply by an injection of cash Satisfaction of wants leads only to more wants and therefore we remain perpetually unsatisfied Commerce leads to inequality and whining.

And we must resist the temptation to teach them that a remote-controlled robot is better than a twig. Apr 12, Danine rated it liked it. It turns out I'm already an idle parent according to Hodgkinson. This book is pretty much common sense.

I agreed with some of his perspectives and was like WTF are you thinking on other perspectives. A typical parent book read. I thought it was great how he advocated the rejection of commercialized products. I did not like his perspective on schooling which was anarchistic. He preferred homeschool.

I am not against homeschool, but I there are a lot of great teachers out there who must conform to It turns out I'm already an idle parent according to Hodgkinson. I am not against homeschool, but I there are a lot of great teachers out there who must conform to the bureaucracy of paranoid western parents.

I think there needs to be advocates for reform to bring play-based and exploratory education. I do like the idea of bringing philosophers into the parenting arena. The author has serious angst against public playgrounds. Public playgrounds are a life saver to many parents. I'm on the author's side this time, though. I laothe going to park. Spitball-fire hate it.

But I do it Favorite Quotes: "No, there are no room for martyrs in the world of the idle parent. Our happiness comes first. And that is the right way around; as a cab driver said to me the other day of his kids: "They're happy because we're happy. They these women end up Oprah when it was on in an emotional mess wondering where they went wrong and how they discovered that their lives were empty because everyone and everything came before their needs and now they are lifeless shells.

I could go on. I love me. My kids love me and themselves. I rock and I'm a freakin' awesome mom. Not for us a host of costly leisure pursuits at teh weekend. We reject the costly thrills of antiseptic plastic fun places, zoos, theme parks and family days out in general. I have a rule for weekends.

If we must plan something only one significant event per weekend. The weekends are for recharging for our family.

We are so happy with this arrangement. It is nice to get out with the family but over-scheduling is a sort of death. I love that the author doesn't believe in guilt. It's nice to hear a parent say they don't feel guilty for something they did or didn't do.